All Marriage Is Gay Marriage, II

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When I first made that assertion three years ago (as an addendum to this), I didn't quite mean this. Lemme 'splain. Someone sent me a front-page story the Formerly Gray Lady ran several days ago on how same-sex unions can teach everyone else a thing or two about marriage. I was saving it 'til I had time to properly put my snark on, but lo, Fr. Neuhaus has already done the job. One has to laugh, you know.
The opening sentence: “A growing body of evidence shows that same-sex couples have a great deal to teach everyone else about marriage and relationships.” The LGBTQ community has so much to teach the orientationally challenged not only about marriage but also about relationships, which is just about the whole of life. While there is slight reference in the story to evidence supporting that claim, you know it has to be a “growing body of evidence” since there was none at all before the Massachusetts court invented same-sex marriage in 2003.
And:
The report discloses that “same-sex relationships, whether between men or women, were far more egalitarian than heterosexual ones.” Both men being men and both women being women, as in more egalitarian, that would seem to stand to reason.
This is the best, though.
“While the gay and lesbian couples had about the same rate of conflict as heterosexual ones, they appeared to have more relationship satisfaction, suggesting that the inequality of opposite-sex relationships can take a toll.” No one can deny that there is a very long history of men having problems with women, and vice versa. I am told that novelists and playwrights have constructed entire stories around the theme. But it’s good to have this confirmed and backed up by “a growing body of evidence” in a front-page story in the Times. From now on, nobody can plead ignorance.
Got that? Read the first sentence of that graf again. Same-sex unions are the harmonious norm towards which the rest of us can only aspire!