What To Expect

A bit of pre-reporting on tomorrow's Motu Proprio. It's meant as parody, but I'm betting it's quite close:

Pope Benedict, a former Hitler youth, will tell Roman Catholic priests in coming days that they can say mass in Latin— a dead language the no one knows anymore—as a concession to right wing extremists in the church, known as traditionalists.

The decree by the Pope, a former Hitler youth, is known as a Motu Proprio. This cryptic latin phrase can be loosely translated “I can do whatever I want because I am the Pope and you can’t stop me.”

The Latin Mass, also known as the Tridentine mass, is a product of the ‘dark ages’ and was understandably jettisoned by the reforms of the Second Vatican Council. The latin mass is said by the priest with his back to the congregation whispering secret prayers that only he can understand. In the Tridentine mass the laity does not participate at all , so they often turn to knitting, macramé, or checkers to pass the time.

The move by the Pope, a former Hitler youth, has raised concern about reviving parts of the old liturgy that Jews consider anti-Semitic, gays consider homo-phobic, women consider sexist, dwarves consider anti-dwarfic (communion rails are too high), and priests consider too difficult to learn.

& etc. For the benefit of ye non-RCs, when these shibboleths appear tomorrow, as they already have begun to:

• The old rite (now to be called the extraordinary form of the Roman Rite) is celebrated in Latin, but the faithful follow along with a side-by-side vernacular translation. The idea is that each of the faithful participates fully by praying along, uniting his prayer with that of the whole Church. Exactly as in the Novus Ordo (now to be called the ordinary form of the Roman Rite). The difference is between praying silently or aloud, not between participation and lack thereof.
• The priest's direction in the extraordinary form is not "back to the people" but East, from whence cometh the returning Lord. It's not rudeness, and it's perfectly acceptable to celebrate this way in the ordinary form, too --though not commonly done.
• Vatican II permitted translation of the mass into the vernacular, but never overturned Latin as the primary language of the liturgy.

You Trads out there inclined to triumphalism, Fr. Z's Rules have been making the rounds. Fr. Z. also posts a song for you.