Q: Isn’t it extremely wearing having to deal with God every day? Doesn’t one get sick and tired of it?
R: Dealing with God every day is a necessity for me. For just as we have to breathe every day, just as we need light every day and have to eat every day, just as we also need friendship every day and truly need certain people every day, dealing with God is one of the absolutely fundamental elements of life. If God suddenly disappeared, my soul wouldn’t be able to breathe properly. In that sense there is no boredom here. It can occur when it comes to certain pious practices, in relation to certain devotional readings, but not in relation to God as such.
Q.Still,it's no doubt also true that one doesn't automatically become more just and gentle or wiser and more faithful by occupying oneself with God and the Church.
R: Unfortunately, that's true. By itself studying theology doesn't make a person better. It helps to make him better when he doesn't pursue it just as a theory but tries to get a better understanding of himself and of man and the world as a whole in what he reads and then tries to appropriate it as a form of life. But in itself theology is primarily and intellectual occupation, above all when it is pursued with scholarly rigor and seriousness. It can have repercussions on one's attitude as a human being, but it doesn't necessarily make man better as such.
Q.Are there demands of Jesus that are hard for even a cardinal to fulfill?
Most certainly, because he is just as weak as other people, and his position, with its varied responsibilities, may even get him into more serious trouble. I would say that all ten commandmments, which are summed up in the great commandment of love, are ones that he, like anyone else, never completely fulfills. It is, in fact, often hard to love, to love God and man, and to do it in a way that is in keeping with the Word of God. There is no doubt about that at all, and we know well enough from history how weak cardinals can be in this respect.
Q.So it's sometimes hard even for a cardinal to love people.
You know, you can't love people collectively anyway. Of course, there are unlikeable types whom it is very difficult to love. And sometimes one can almost begin to doubt whether the person is good and to ask oneself whether the Creator hasn't let things get so far out of hand that this creature is starting to become dangerous and can't be worthy of love any longer. But then one has to say: Some I don't know at all, so I am not competent to make a judgment about them, and the others I have to leave as they are. And the good people I know constantly resassure me that the Creator does in fact know what he has done.
Q. Do you go to Confession? Do you have your own confessor?
Yes. That, I think, is necessary for all of us.
Q. Does this mean that even a cardinal does things that are wrong?
It's there for all to see.
Q. Do you sometimes feel helpless and overtaxed or lonely, like other people do?
Yes. Precisely in my present position, my strength is far from equal to what I am really supposed to do. And the older one gets, the more one suffers from the fact that one simply doesn't have sufficient strength to do what one is supposed to; that one is too weak and helpless, or not up to situations. And then one says to God, now you must help, I can't go on. There is loneliness as well. However, I would say that the Lord has --thank goodness-- put so many fine people in my path that I never have to feel completely alone.
