As I Said

Here's a link to the President's brief presser today. This is the kind of thing I love the guy for --for not being particularly articulate, he sure knows how to stand up to the Many Swarming Monkeys and their eeek-eek-eeeeking. Here are portions, my translation provided.

Q Sir, what do you make of some of the comments that have been made by quite a number of people that there was a racial component to some of the people that were left behind and left without help?

Translation: Are you a racist?

THE PRESIDENT: My attitude is this: The storm didn't discriminate, and neither will the recovery effort. When those Coast Guard choppers, many of whom were first on the scene, were pulling people off roofs, they didn't check the color of a person's skin. They wanted to save lives. I can assure people from the -- and I know from the state and local level, as well, that this recovery is going to be comprehensive. The rescue efforts were comprehensive, and the recovery will be comprehensive.

Translation: Are you an idiot?

Q Mr. President, does the federal government need the authority to come in earlier, or even in advance of a storm that threatening?

Translation: Can I trick you into saying that your people took far too long to respond to this crisis?

THE PRESIDENT: I think that's one of the interesting issues that Congress needs to take a look at. And it's really important that as we take a step back and learn lessons, that we are in a position to adequately answer the question, are we prepared for major catastrophes, that the system is such that we're able to work closely together and that --

Translation: As I am a gentleman, I cannot come right out and say that Gov. Blanco is totally out of her depth. But I will have some choice recommendations to Congress when all is said and done.

Q Do you recommend that Congress consider allowing the federal government to act more quickly?

Translation: Food fight! So you're saying it was the dumb woman who got in the way?

THE PRESIDENT: I think it's very important for Congress to take a good, close look at what went on, what didn't go on, and come up with a series of recommendations. And my attitude is, is that we need to learn everything we possibly can; we need to make sure that this country is knitted up as well as it can be, in order to deal with significant problems and disasters. Meantime, we've got to keep moving forward. And I know there's been a lot of second-guessing. I can assure you I'm not interested in that. What I'm interested in is solving problems. And there will be time to take a step back and to take a sober look at what went right and what didn't go right. There's a lot of information floating around that will be analyzed in an objective way, and that's important. And it's important for the people of this country to understand that all of us want to learn lessons. If there were to be a biological attack of some kind, we've got to make sure we understand the lessons learned to be able to deal with catastrophe.

Translation: First things first: let's get the crisis past us. Then let's be damned sure Gov. Blanco's not in charge the next time al-Qaeda strikes.

Q Will what is needed to get this area back on its feet have any impact on the timing of troop withdrawals in Iraq?

Translation: Why do you care more about poor, brown people in Iraq than poor, black people in America?

THE PRESIDENT: In Iraq?
Q Yes.
THE PRESIDENT: We've got plenty of troops to do both. Let me just -- let me just talk about that again. I've answered this question before, and you can speak to General Honore if you care to. He's the military man on the ground. It is preposterous to claim that the engagement in Iraq meant there wasn't enough troops here, just pure and simple. Do you care to comment on that?

Translation: John Wayne, please tell this man from me that he's an idiot.

GENERAL HONORE: Well, we have about 90,000 members of the Reserve and National Guard deployed, of a total force of approximately 400,000. So 90,000 are deployed. We've got the capability. We're here, we're demonstrating in deed every day. We're performing the mission with the great support of the National Guard from multiple states. The response is here. The troops are getting the job done under the conditions that you see here today, and they're making America proud that we have that capability.

Translation: With pleasure, Mr. President. [To reporter] You, Sir, are an idiot.

Q Did they misinform you when you said that no one anticipated the breach of the levees?

Translation: Mr. President, isn't it really you who is the idiot? An oblivious, racist idiot?

THE PRESIDENT: No, what I was referring to is this. When that storm came by, a lot of people said we dodged a bullet. When that storm came through at first, people said, whew. There was a sense of relaxation, and that's what I was referring to. And I, myself, thought we had dodged a bullet. You know why? Because I was listening to people, probably over the airways, say, the bullet has been dodged. And that was what I was referring to. Of course, there were plans in case the levee had been breached. There was a sense of relaxation in the moment, a critical moment. And thank you for giving me a chance to clarify that.

Translation: Well, yes, I had an idiotic moment in which I believed something you people reported. But I refer you to Wheat & Weeds for the remainder of my answer.